pod people

Maybe it’s just me, but increasingly I see leftists as Puritanical scolds telling me what I can and cannot do. The only difference between them and the Republican scolds of my youth is that they read Noam Chomsky instead of The Reader's Digest. Sometimes they remind me of the zombies from Night of the Living Dead, marching with arms outstretched and eyes wide open, chanting --

You. Should. Not. Eat. Animals.

You. Should. Not. Use. Animals. For. Testing. Or Fur. Or skin. Or anything. That might. Benefit. Humans.

You. Should. Not. Smoke. In the bar. In the restaurant. Anywhere. On account. Of. My. Asthma.

You. Should. Not. Discipline. Your. Children. It. Might. Scar. Their. Psyches.

You. Should not. Use. The word. Christmas. Except. In. The privacy. Of your own home.

You. Poor people. Should. Send. Your kid. To. Public school. Even. If. It’s. Crappy. And. The other kids. Carry guns.

You. Should. Not. Own. A. Gun. Yourself. Your kid. Could. Shoot. Grandma.

If you. Have. An accident. You. Should. Sue. Someone.
Because. If. Something. Bad. Happens. It’s. Not. Your. Fault.
It’s probably Halliburton’s.